Many of you know my story, but for those who don’t I wanted share a little about me and my own weight-loss journey.
I’ve lost more than 100 pounds but did it by losing and gaining the same 20-30 pounds over and over.
It wasn’t that I didn’t know how to lose or maintain my weight. My problem was that I ate to bury painful emotions.
It took a long time (and the help of a good mental health counselor) for me to learn how to feel my painful emotions instead of eating to make them go away.
I also learned that before I could stop my emotional eating, I had to figure out what I was feeling and put a name to the emotion.
Once I had a label for an emotion, I had a better chance of doing something about it instead of eating to make it go away.
If you want to read the long version of my personal weight-loss story, click here
What am I feeling?
When you don’t pay much attention to your feelings, it’s easy to forget how to describe your emotions.
Maybe you can only think of a few words such as angry, depressed, or happy. But within each of these categories lies an enormous range of descriptive words that will capture your feelings more accurately. Being precise makes identifying your emotions even more powerful.
Lots of emotions vary in their intensity, from mild feelings such as “upset” to major responses such as “horrified.” Look at the difference between feeling explosive, furious, or anguished compared to feeling irritated or frustrated.
Think of any recent life situations that prompted an emotional response. Perhaps you wish you could have handled something better in the past. Maybe you are facing an event or discussion you aren’t looking forward to.
Get specific
Now think about the specific feelings you’re having or did have with this situation. Be as accurate as possible about what you feel. As you dig deeper, you may uncover many emotions besides the ones that initially show up.
For example, if you are feeling angry, decide whether you are livid, bitter, or overwhelmed. Maybe your feelings are less intense such as annoyed, irritated, or grouchy.
Or suppose you are depressed over a relationship break-up. In addition to feeling down, tearful, or sad, look for other words that fit. Maybe you also feel lonely, disappointed, or abandoned.
To help you be more accurate in identifying your emotions, click the link below for a list that goes deeper than mad, glad, and sad.
I feel, because…
As you work on identifying your feelings, use the phrase, “I feel, because…” to create a list of your emotions.
To get started, take a mental sweep of your present situation and describe your thoughts about life in general. Consider all of the areas that currently affect you, including positive, happy ones as well as issues that are difficult or challenging.
Here’s an example:
I feel…Because…
- Happy, because my three children are wonderful
- Frustrated, because I can’t seem to get caught up
- Stressed, because Lots of pressure at work
- Worried, because My company is doing layoffs
- Thrilled, because I love my new house
- Contented, because I have a great husband
- Worn out, because I’m fighting to get ahead
- Bitter, because Life isn’t fair
Your turn
Take a blank page of paper, and draw a line down the middle of it from the top to the bottom. On the left side, write the words, “I feel” and on the right side write, “because of.”
You can do this exercise about life in general or choose a specific situation or event to write about. For example, are you struggling with your teen-age kids? Is your job extra stressful right now? As you do the “I feel, Because” exercise , write about one of these problems.
First, write an emotion word in the left column to describe how you feel. In the right hand column, write down a reason or issue that prompted the emotion.
For example, under I feel … you might write “angry,” and under because… write “my partner doesn’t help around the house.”
Keep this simple, using one or two words to identify each feeling and a short phrase or sentence to describe why you feel that way.
Once you’ve written for a while, go back to the list of emotions and look for words that will help you be more accurate in describing how you feel.
One or two feelings, or a lot
When you use the “I feel” exercise, you can write one or two feelings or make a list that fills an entire page. Feel free to repeat words as often as you like, such as saying “I’m angry” over and over with a different reason for each time.
Take time to explore all the possible feelings related to the situation. You may discover many other emotions besides the intense feelings that initially showed up
Taking back your power
Identifying your emotions brings them out into the open. And once you see the whole picture, you aren’t as likely to reach for food to cover up what you feel.
You don’t even have to write the words down to be able to identify your feelings. You can just think them or even say them to your steering wheel as you drive.
When you successfully identify your feelings, you find the power to change your response.