She kept hoping her children would grow up and take care of their own lives. But they didn’t.
And whenever they had problems, Marilyn not only rushed in to help, she ate.
As she struggled with all of her family issues, Marilyn usually ended the day by consuming a huge pizza or an ice cream sundae.
Here is her latest story about how she got hooked into their problems:
“A couple months ago, my daughter went through a nasty break-up with her boyfriend.
For several weeks, I went over to her place every day, and when she cried, I cried with her. Then we’d get out the ice cream and eat until we both felt better.
Around this same time, my middle son lost his job. So even though I’m broke, I took over making his charge card payments to help him out.
Then my oldest son called from Texas where he’d been put in jail (again) for selling drugs. I was so devastated that I couldn’t sleep or go to work.
I just kept eating to try and not think about it. Finally, I borrowed enough money to fly down there and bail him out of jail.”
Marilyn believed she was being a concerned and caring parent. But she also struggled with saying “no” to her mother and to people at work.
In reality, she had become so hooked into other people’s lives that she had no concept of her own identity.
When she tried to write a list of her needs, she couldn’t think of a single one that didn’t relate to fixing someone else’s problems.
The only way she got her own needs met was with food.
Sound familiar? Check these two other posts about the “People Hook”