The Weight Loss Minute

Reach for love instead of cookies

It happened every time! For years, whenever I went home to visit my parents, my good intentions around healthy eating would instantly disappear. As soon as I walked into the kitchen, I would see a fresh batch of bar cookies called blonde brownies.

My mom knew I liked them. Once I’d arrived, she’d cut them into two-inch squares, stack them on a plate and set them in the center of the table.

After greeting her and Dad, I’d sit down at the table with a cup of tea, and eat a dozen of those cookies. It seemed that once I started, I couldn’t stop. In that tiny, cozy kitchen with the red painted ceiling, I’d reach for one cookie after another.

After doing this on numerous visits, I began wondering what made those cookies so powerful that I couldn’t resist them. Even though I enjoyed the soft texture and the thick layer of chocolate chips, it wasn’t the taste of the cookies that got me. Instead, it was the love!

After being away from home for months, I would yearn to feel close and connected to my family. So as I sat there, having cookies and tea with my mom, I’d soak up the feelings of love and contentment that I’d been missing for so long. In reality, I was trying to catch up, to fill my heart with enough love to make up for the time since I’d been home.

Changing my love

Of course, eating the cookies were hard on my weight, but I also felt frustrated and upset that I couldn’t manage them better. Finally, on one of my visits, I realized that I didn’t need to manage the cookies—I needed to manage the love.

So I planned some new strategies. I started the next visit by giving my mom a small gift. Then I pulled out a list of jokes I’d heard since seeing her last, and we spent an hour laughing together at them. Next, I showed her the books I was currently reading, and gave her my opinion of the writers and the plots.

Over the next few days, I drank lots of herb teas from the supply I’d brought with me, I took a lot of walks around the small town where my parents lived, and appreciated how they were part of this community. I played scrabble with my mom, and Yahtzee and backgammon with my dad. I watched the annual parades on TV, and we made a game out of voting for our favorite displays.

It worked!

Each time I visited over the next years, the cookies were still there, but I knew I didn’t need to eat a dozen of them. Usually, I’d enjoy one along with my first cup of tea. But after that, I used all my new tricks for showing love to my parents, intentionally looking for ways to feel close and connected.

As you spend time with your friends and family this holiday season, plan how you can experience love without using food as your only source. Look for ways to connect through warm conversations, gifts and simply appreciating the people you’re with. With a little effort, you’ll discover that sharing love tastes a lot sweeter than the cookies!

Copyright Linda Spangle, 2006. #12/18, Weight Loss for Life, Inc.

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